I know a great many things could come after those words. And most of them are worse than what I’ve done. Really. I’m not justifying.
A few days (well, it could have been yesterday, I’m not sure of time anymore.) I posted on my Facebook that I was exhausted. I know most people assumed that I meant Emery is a terror. He isn’t. He sleeps well for a newborn. He sleeps for 4 to 5 hours at a time at night (after his cluster feeding that ends around 10:30.) He is a fairly noisy sleeper. Okay, he is a very noisy sleeper. He grunts and moans and whimpers while sleeping. But that doesn’t really contribute to my exhaustion. My exhaustion is completely my own fault. I felt so great after giving birth to Emery! (Confession: I actually feel proud to say I gave birth to Emery. I’m not quite comfortable saying that about Aidan and that has been a bother to me. I can’t quite translate the c-section into normal terms. It was never about me, but rather about what was done to me. It feels completely different, although it doesn’t make Aidan’s entrance into the world any less special to me than my other children.) I really had no physical complaints after giving birth to Emery. The only discomfort I felt were the afterpains that lasted a few days after he was born. I could pee without it stinging. I could sit without a donut pillow. I was completely comfortable. (Hard to believe, I know.) So, instead of taking advantaged of my very small recovery window, I jumped right back into my role as Mommy. Mistake. That is what not do! Oxytocin plus the rigors of Mommyhood equal extreme exhaustion! It didn,t catch up to me until it was too late. About the second day of Adam being back at work, the extreme exhaustion hit me. Bam! And I thought to myself, why did I do this? Why didn’t I hole up in my bedroom with Emery for a couple weeks and emerge for eating only, if that?! Why didn’t I dump the kids on Adam and sleep and watch all manner of movies while drinking my cranberry juice? Instead, I did laundry and cleaned and played with toddlers between feeding a newborn. I stayed up until 11 every night and got up at 8 and neglected to take naps. Now, I am not telling you all this for sympathy. Nor am I requesting anyone stop by my house to “help.” (Really, please don’t.) I’m just offering advice to my female friends. Having a baby is hard work. Carrying a baby for 9 months (8 for me) is hard work. Having and feeding a newborn is hard work. Take those first two weeks as a spa vacation! Take bubble baths (if you are allowed), lay in bed, and indulge yourself. Do nothing but feed a baby! Because real life creeps back up on you and you’re not going to get a second chance to take your break! Then you’ll be in full Mommy mode and no one can do without you.
Now, if I ever have another one, will someone remind me of this? I tend to forget.
* Disclaimer * I am in no way trying to bash the Pastor. You all know I cannot be convinced of certain things. So, Pastor, don’t get your panties in a wad about this post.