Two Years

Two years ago today, Aidan was born. Aidan was born via c-section because he was breech. They told me he was double footling breech, but I’m not too sure he was a true double footling. (A true double footling has knees and hips straight- like jumping into a pool feet first.) I have a feeling he may have been a frank breech with his knees bent (cannonball!). I didn’t know at the time that it was possible to deliver a breech baby vaginally. My doctor said your certainly could never deliver a double footling vaginally (when prodded, she said the baby would die) and even if baby was frank breech, that was even too dangerous to deliver vaginally. I fully believed her. If the doctor said it, it must be true, right? Wrong. What she really should have said was, “Your baby is breech and I am not comfortable delivering a breech baby because I just don’t have the skills to do so.” I tried the ECV in the OR first. The nurses at the hospital told me I was the first person they’d ever seen try one. I should have known then it wouldn’t work. They didn’t have any experience doing it! But I refused to just sign up for a c-section. I went in that morning for my 37 week check up. To my surprise I was in labor when I went in without knowing it! I was 4cm dilated and 80% effaced. That meant the entire early part of labor was over (which can be quite long for many people). However, since my doctor was not comfortable delivering my baby vaginally, I was immediately sent to L&D where they prepped me for my c-section. I was upset. I was excited to meet my little one, but I was scared to death of being cut open to do so. Labor was not so scary to me. It was natural. The c-section was not natural. It was not normal. It was frightening. My nurse told me I would LOVE having a c-section. She told me I would find it so much better than “natural birth” and would never want to have it any other way. She was wrong. She could not have been more wrong. (3 days after my c-section, I found her and told her so.)

They rolled me back to the OR, a place I am all too familiar with. However, I was not happy being on the patient side of things. After they had me all hooked up, numb, and draped out, they let the Pastor come in. He sat up near my head and I warned him not to peek. (He doesn’t have a very strong stomach and c-sections are extremely gross to watch.) They held up the baby and we saw it was a boy! We later found out his presenting part was his testicles. (Which made me extremely upset later when I found out one risk of a c-section was that they could accidentally cut the baby! How terrible would that have been?! Luckily, it did not happen to Aidan. They didn’t just leave out this c-section risk, they left out all risks. They told me it was the only way and never mentioned a single risk. Of course, I was not so naive that I thought there were no risks. But no one gave me options. They never said, “Here are the risks of a section and here are the risks of delivering this baby breech.” They just said they were not willing to let me take the risks of delivering him vaginally, so I would have to take the risks to deliver him via c-section.) We have no pictures of him right after birth. No cameras were allowed in the operating room. The Pastor asked me about his name. We had been going back and forth on boy’s names. I wanted Edmund, he wanted Aidan. Though I had to originally talk him into Aidan (easy when it is the name of a missionary saint), I became wishy-washy about it toward the end. I had said that he could pick the name if it was a boy and I would pick if it was a girl. I was so convinced I was having a girl. Wrong! We did stick with the name Aidan, despite the popularity of the name. I knew Aidan fit his name, which means “fiery”, because he was such an active and easily agitated baby in utero. (I find it impossible to argue that he was not yet a person when he was so clearly showing some aspects of his personality before birth!)

I didn’t get to hold Aidan until he was 5 days old. Poor guy had to spend 10 days in the NICU. It was a combination of factors. He was breech and I had a c-section plus the fact that he was a little early made it difficult for him to breath. His lungs were slightly immature. He had fluid in his lungs as a result of not being properly squeezed through the birth canal. He was 6 lbs. even. He was such a cute little baby!

And now that little baby is two! Can you believe it? He is a ninth of the way raised. He is still fiery. He is very persistent. I can’t wait to see the man he grows into.

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