What are you teaching my kids, Mickey?

I usually don’t pay much attention when the kids are watching TV. I know, bad mommy! But let’s face it, I’ve got other things to do during those 2 TV shows a day they get to watch. (I let each of the older ones pick one show/movie/DVD a day each. So, they get a total of 2 shows/movies/DVDs a day. Unless I’m having a super off day and end up letting Disney stay on all day. *hides under sofa*) Well, this particular time, I started paying attention to Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. Here you can see this whole story of Donald and The Beanstalk, which is what this rant is about.

So, what is Mickey Mouse teaching my kids these days? Well, in this story, Donald trades Boo Boo Chicken for some magic beans with the giant, who is what we would call “simple.” Donald begins to regret his decision to trade Boo Boo Chicken, because he realizes he loved his pet so much! (Shouldn’t have traded then, Donald!) Mickey convinces Donald that he has been had by the Giant! Mickey tells Donald the beans are not magic at all and Donald needs to go get Boo Boo Chicken back! (Forget confronting the Giant and explaining his regret or him feeling like he’d been tricked by so called “magic beans.”)

Upon hearing that the beans were not magic, Donald throws them out! Well, the beans thought to not be magic grow into a giant magic beanstalk. So, the beans ARE magic!!! So, does the adventure end? No! Mickey and Donald, knowing the beans were magic (and therefore the conditions of the trade were met) decide to continue on and STEAL Boo Boo Chicken from the Simple Giant. (Are you as shocked as I am?)

Now the story really heats up. (And I will note that the TV version has a different ending from the internet game version.) They sneak through the Giant’s house (Breaking and Entering, anyone?!) and find Boo Boo Chicken. They take Boo Boo Chicken. (They claim they are “rescuing” him, but come one, they are STEALING! A “rescue” would be taking him away from his inconsiderate owner, Donald, in the first place.)

Upon finding that Mickey and Donald have STOLEN Boo Boo Chicken (and not returned the beans), the Simple Giant gets upset. He tells Donald and Mickey he needs Boo Boo Chicken to love and hug. He needs a companion pet. Do Donald and Mickey realize the error of their ways and return the Giant’s property? Do Donald and Mickey have compassion on the Giant who truly loves his new pet chicken? No. Donald says he loves Boo Boo Chicken, so Mickey decides to give the Giant something else in place of Boo Boo Chicken. (These terms are not worked out with the Giant, they are simply imposed on him, since he is Simple and easily fooled.) Mickey gives the Giant and teddy bear neither he nor Donald want. Fair? I think not.

So, what message is in there for the kids? If you trade or share something, then change your mind, just take it back. They’ll get over it and accept any consolation you choose to bestow upon them. What is important is that you have what you want.

I should pay more attention to this Mickey Mouse who seems intent on steering my children wrong. When they go to jail for stealing, breaking and entering, and taking advantage of mentally challenged people, I hope their cell mate, Big Bob, gives them a nice commemorative Mickey Mouse tattoo for the occasion.

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9 thoughts on “What are you teaching my kids, Mickey?

  1. Tori December 15, 2011 / 12:06 pm

    I fully agree with you. On top there is many other things wrong with Mickey for instance clairabell cow is always back on forth with goofy and Pete. Or that they call Pete ‘sneaky Pete’ and in some episodes they are friends with the ‘simple’ giant but in others like the one you describe he is there enemy. Very confusing to children.

  2. Bill November 20, 2012 / 2:15 pm

    Well, I was thinking about going to Disney World, trading them my favorite money for a nice vacation, then regretting that I traded them the money that I love so much, so I should be able to go and take it back.

    My daughter was watching this episode, and I was shocked, I figured I must not be the only one, so i googled “Mickey donald chicken beans giant stealing” and this came up.

    Thanks Mickey, not my 6 month old is doomed.

    • Lindsey November 22, 2012 / 4:11 pm

      That is a funny comparison, Bill!

  3. kevin November 24, 2013 / 6:41 am

    The show isn’t teaching you anything that jack and the beanstalk didn’t already teach you 50 years ago

  4. James Peliby November 17, 2014 / 10:10 am

    Although this is a late reply, I have to agree but also state my rant-based hatred for Mickey mouse clubhouse. “Let’s mousekersize!”, “Let’s get our mouse-ka-tools!”, “Let’s do the hot dog dance!”, and so on are the phrases expressed in this show – I’m dumbfounded as to what this shows purpose is – to confuse and delay speech in children or to help teach children new things?

    Let’s look at it this way:
    My 4 year old sister who’s currently in nursery, who also watches this garbage (not my choice – mother allows it) goes into nursery one day. Just a little note that my sister is strong minded – she fights to support her belief before doing as she’s told. So, the theme at nursery is exercise! A good way to keep children healthy. “Today, we are going to do some exercise to keep our bodies healthy!” the teacher exclaims. My sister asks her teacher “what is exercise?” – the teacher replies “it’s moving your body in different ways – it’s fun and makes you big and strong!” (or something along those lines – I’m not a nursery teacher so I don’t know exsctly how they’d reply to that question). “Oh silly – you mean mousekersize!” my sister ‘corrects’ her teacher. Knowing my sister, this could cause an unnecessary argumentative atmosphere for a few minutes where, although being naughty, my sister presents confusion and feels upset that the teacher is saying she’s wrong when mickey mouse taught her the “mousekersize” word. The teacher would then have to let my sister down by saying mickey mouse was wrong and naughty to teach her that incorrect word, which is overall not only making things harder for the teacher to teach certain children correct vocabulary, it could contribute to the teacher believing there’s something wrong with my sisters speech ability because she’s using ‘made up words’ to express a certain action or meaning.

    I just hope that that lessons focus on healthy exercise isn’t ‘dancing’, because what a ‘hot dog’ has to do with mickey and his pals dancing like retards confuses the he’ll out of me.

  5. phil November 17, 2014 / 11:08 am

    This is simply an updated version of a classic Disney story where Mickey, Donald, and Goofy are living in an area that is in a severe drought. They get some magic beans, go up to giant land, misadventures happen, laughs are had, and it’s all in good fun. You need to lighten up or just have your kids watch the flying house.

  6. amy June 24, 2015 / 5:54 am

    My favorite episode is the one they follow Donald’s footprints THRU A WINDOW!

  7. Anonymous September 13, 2015 / 8:44 pm

    Get a life!

  8. Daniel July 5, 2016 / 5:41 am

    OMG you’re freaking crazy. It’s just a tv show remake of the movie.

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