Posted in With The Kids

An Andrew

The Pastor and I took the goblins to Chick-Fil-A today. It is their favorite place to eat. They really have little to no interest in the food. In fact, they force themselves to act like they like the food, just so they can keep saying it is their favorite place to eat. The truth is, they love the play area. I know, lots of places have play areas. But Chick-Fil-A has a play area, cow stuff, and Purex wipes.

So, they are in the play area and we decide it is time to go. I go in to wrangle them in. None of the kids are actually in the play structure, they are all out on the benches (you know, the ones for parents that no parent- aside from the annoying helicopter one you’ll occasionally run across- sit on) looking up at a red balloon that is trapped on the ceiling. Now, there are plenty of other balloons to be had in the eating area, but these kids want THAT balloon. Here is the conversation that occurred:

Boy in Red: We HAVE to get to that balloon!

Me: Well, can any of you jump really, I mean REALLY, high?

(Boy in red and boy in blue attempt to jump to the balloon, coming about 12 feet short of their target.)

Boy in Red: We need to think of something else.

Me: Can any of you fly? Perhaps one of you is a fairy? Any fairies here?

Boy in Red: If Buzz Lightyear was here, he could help.

(All the kids nod in agreement. I start putting shoes on Worman’s feet.)

Boy in Blue: (Placing a hand on Worman’s shoulder.) Is this your son or your daughter?

Me: This is my son. Are you a people or a dwarf?

Boy in Blue: Neither! I’m an Andrew!

Me: An Andrew? I’ve heard of those. Can’t Andrews fly?

Boy in Blue: Yeah. I think… Yeah! Andrews can fly!

Me: (Moving my two to the play area door.) Well, we’ll just step out to give you room to fly, Andrew! Best of luck on your mission.

Boy in Red: Thanks! We can DO this!

So, if Andrew’s mom happens to be reading this and is wondering why on earth he is now jumping off the furniture convinced he can fly, it was me. I did this. Sorry about that.

Posted in With The Kids

Conversations With Imo

For those of you that don’t know Imo (pronounced E-Moe. Short for Imogene.), let me tell you, the girl is in her own little world. She has been since the day she was born. She makes the world around her and she likes it that way. Conversations with her tend to go very wrong. It takes a lot of repetition to get anything across to her. (Unless it is about unicorns, faeries, princesses, etc.) Potty training ended up being a battle. So I quit and let her train herself. I figured eventually the princess would see the need to use the potty. And she did. She woke up one day and decided diapers were no longer for her- not even at night.

Here is the conversation we had this morning.

Imo: Mom!!! What happened to Leo’s leg?! (holding up a Leo from the Little Einsteins figure with a leg that was detached from the base)

Me: His leg is broken. That is what happens when you leave your toys all over the place. People step on them and they break.

Imo: Maybe if we put a Tinkerbell in the floor, we can step on her. And glitter will come out of her. And then we can sprinkle the glitter on us. And then we can fly… and… (walking away)

Me: Imogene! The point is that we don’t leave toys in the floor!

Imo: But with Tinkerbell glitter I can fly! (now yelling from the other room)

How can I argue with that? Reality has nothing to do with it when you are talking to Imo. ┬áIn her world, broken Leo’s are not the result of her negligence- oh no! Broken Leo’s are pathways to broken Tinkerbells- which will lead to the superhuman ability to fly. *Sigh*