This post originally appeared on the John and Charles Wesley Center for Christian Thought and Apologetics as part of a column called The Doorposts. You can visit the original here.

What is Crisis Mode?

Crisis mode. Those seasons in which you can’t possibly see enough to plan ahead at all—not even to Friday. Those days in which you are struggling to make it to bedtime. Those times when life gets crazy and the kids end up watching way too much TV and consuming way too much fast food. The times when you don’t have the mental bandwidth for a conversation.

We’ve all been there. Sometimes, it’s when you’re adding a new baby to the family. Or when your parent is sick and you’re spending your mental strength getting them and yourself through that. Maybe you moved and your feet aren’t quite under you yet. You’re in crisis mode. You’re just trying to get by each day. You just need to eek into tomorrow. 

There are times when, really and truly, that is all we can do. We can only do this moment and simply cannot think past it. We lean into Jesus, and we just hang on as we pummel to the bottom of the valley. 

Stopping the Cycle of Crisis Mode

But crisis mode doesn’t last forever. Yet, for far too many Christian parents, we spend the majority of our children’s lives parenting in crisis mode. We never get our feet under us. We never see beyond this moment. We certainly don’t plan for the future. Our entire parenting life is spent just trying to eek into tomorrow. We make decisions that aren’t for the long-term good of our family. 

The thief would like for us to continue that way. He’d love nothing more than to steal your joy, intentionality, and love for your family. Our adversary would love nothing more than to destroy any hopes for discipleship and community within the family (and the Family of God). He’d love for you to stay so busy and so tired that you cannot possibly see a way out of this moment right now.

But Jesus has bigger plans for us. Jesus wants us to have abundant life. He wants us to thrive, not just eek by. 

Practical Helps on Getting Out of Crisis Mode

So how do we get there? How do we get out of the cycle of crisis mode? Can we get beyond this moment? How can we reclaim what the thief is trying to steal from our family? 

First, we pray. Often, when we say we’re holding onto Jesus, we’re just holding onto some vague idea of hope. We aren’t actually praying. We aren’t actually reading the Bible. We aren’t actually availing ourselves to His grace in our lives. We’re holding onto the idea that Jesus will be like a fairy godmother and sweep into our mess at some point and just bippity-boppity-boop it all okay. We aren’t truly asking Him to step in; we’re just holding out a weak hope that perhaps He will. Faith is bigger than that, Fam. Jesus is more than that. He is our hope for the future but also our hope for today, for this moment, for this situation.

Pulling Away in Crisis Mode

We pull away from His people, where He works. We pull away from the hands and feet He sends. Waiting around for that magic wand to turn our pumpkin into a carriage. Stop vaguely hoping and find a hope that is deep, real, and lasting. Pray. Seek Him. Give Him your cares in prayer. If your faith is floundering, I suggest keeping a prayer journal so you can watch God at work. Write down the date and your specific requests. Leave some room for the answers. When a prayer is answered, write down the answer and that date. You’ll be surprised at how much and how quickly God often works. We tend to forget. Our vision is short-sighted. We forget we were even praying about the kid’s cough last week because that is gone now, so now, we’re praying for something else which we too will probably forget. But God is faithful, even if our memories are not.

Don’t pull away; lean in. Often in times of crisis (which we’ve established is just a way of life for some of us), we pull away from the Church. We pull away from our friends. We don’t share our burdens with them. We don’t want people to know our struggles, and we certainly don’t want them to help. The thief likes this about us. Isolated people are easier to tempt. Isolated people tend to magnify their own problems. Isolated people are easier to destroy. Don’t pull away from the grace God gives us. He gave us one another. He works through His people. Stay with His people. Let them help lighten your burden. Let them help bring some perspective to your situation. 

Spiritual Disciplines

We tend to pull away from spiritual discipline. We become too busy and too burdened for that “just one more thing”. So, we stop reading our Bible. We stop fasting. We stop feasting. We stop worshipping. We stop listening. We just stop. Shutting out the voice of God doesn’t make the thief’s voice quieter—it amplifies it. Shutting out the voice of God isn’t going to alleviate your burdens—it is only going to make them heavier and make you weaker while trying to carry them. Don’t pull away. 

Sorting Out Priorities

Next, we sort our priorities now. Today. We don’t wait for things to get easier. We don’t wait for things to get lighter. We choose today whom we will serve (Joshua 24:14-15). So, whom do you really serve? Many of us live our lives to serve ourselves. We want to say we are Christian families, but if we look at our priorities, it is clear we are serving the great American god of Self.

How do you know your true priorities and not just the “look good on paper” versions? Look at your calendar. Where is the most time spent? Where is the best time spent? Where is the first time spent? Which parts are written in pen and which in pencil? (Metaphorically, of course; I know some parts might actually be written in crayon.) Look at your checkbook. Where is the most money spent? Where is the first money spent? What parts of the budget are non-negotiable?

If you’re like most American families (even professing-Christian ones), you might be surprised to see that your serving children’s sports and activities above all else. You might find that your entertainment and “me” time have become those non-negotiable, written-in-pen activities. You may find that, while you say you’re a Christian family, nothing about your calendar or bank account will verify that claim. You may find that you’re [actually only just] trying to “squeeze in” those religious things to appease that part of your brain saying, “I’m not doing this life-thing right.” 

Packing in Too Much

We find ourselves living in crisis mode outside of a crisis because we’re devoting ourselves to the wrong things and to too many things all at once. When we choose a child’s sport activity before worship, what we say with our actions is that faith isn’t as important. When we find ourselves choosing personal entertainment over family dinner, what we say with our actions is that I’m more important than the family. (And I’m talking about consistently choosing, not a once-in-a-while thing.) Are we teaching our children that my personal comfort and temporary amusement is more important than Jesus? …than them? 

Evaluate Real vs. Ideal Priorities

Take a long, hard, critical look at your priorities. Pause everything else for as long as you need in order to get first things first. Take a family break from everything that isn’t top-billing. This will help you actually start living the life you intend to be living. It will get you out of crisis mode and just eeking by. 

Those things on pause—don’t add those things back in without thinking through what you’re giving up to have them in your life. Every ‘yes’ also comes with a ‘no’. Be aware of that so you can say ‘yes’ wholeheartedly, with intentionality, and say ‘no’ without guilt.

When you are in actual crisis, go back to these priorities. Start saying ‘no’ to the extras more so you can still live with intentionality and not be crushed under the current burden. (Also, let others help you carry the load.) Live life intentionally. Raise your kids intentionally. Don’t just run from one crisis to the next. When you are in crisis, know which things are immovable and which things are extras. Jesus wants your family to have abundant life. The thief wants to steal your hope, joy, and family. The thief wants to bury you. Don’t help him.

Other Notes From the Parsonage Posts You Might Like

• Word Before World
• Faith and Action
• Dear New Mom

Things I Have To Say

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I’m scrolling through Instagram when I wake up this morning and come across a hashtag that gets my mind rolling. #wordbeforeworld . Now, this isn’t the first time I had seen the hashtag. I have seen @wellwateredwomen posting it for several days now. But it was the first time I stopped and took note.

What is the first thing I do when I wake up? Usually grumble about the kids already being awake and lament how late I stayed up the night before. But the first thing I usually choose to do after pulling myself out of bed and getting ready for the day is grab my iPad and start checking social media. I choose to plunge into the world first. Always. The Word part normally comes when I’ve done everything else I need to do for the day. Sure, we get into the Word every morning during Morning Basket time, so I guess I could count that. But before I even do morning basket, I’m checking my social media accounts.

Of course, my mind went to Deuteronomy chapter 6. The people of God are being told not to forget who they are and what God has done for them. They are to teach their children, talk of them in their house, talk of God’s commands walking around going about their day. They are to write them on the doorposts of their houses. And they are to think of them when they lie down and when they rise up.

It got me thinking of the giving of the first fruits, something we remind ourselves when we tithe. We give God the first of what he has given to us. So, what is more valuable than our time? The days, hours, and minutes we have? Why wouldn’t we give the first of our time each day, too?

Essentially, when I choose social media before getting into the Word of God, I’m stating my priorities for the day. Connection, news, self-image- all those things we tie up in social media- I’m saying those are the most important for me. I’m saying that my FOMO (fear of missing out) on the world is more important than my FOMO on God.

I’m not saying there is anything wrong with social media. I think we, as Christians, need to remain engaged in social media as a way to influence our culture. But as all our youth pastor’s warned us, we need to be careful of how we let it shape us. So, I’m not saying we should all pull away from social media. I think a host of evangelism can be done through a screen in our culture.

I am saying that I found myself guilty this morning. I realized I’ve not been putting first things first. I’ve been putting them last. When there is time. At the bottom of the to-do list. And those priorities will never stand. The Word will never shape me because I’m not letting it take the rightful place in my life. That is not anyone’s fault but mine.

I had thought of New Year’s Resolutions in abstract terms. I knew I needed more discipline in my spiritual life and my physical life, so I was just going to abstractly focus on discipline. I now realize an abstract one word focus isn’t going to get me where I need to be. Sure, it will help me think of where I need to be. But I need action steps. I need firm commitments to being disciplined.

So, with discipline as my word of the year, my first practical step is going to be Word before World. That is my first firm commitment to the process of being disciplined. Word before World. I will seek Him first.

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Day Twenty: Foot washing supplies OR bubble bath supplies

Day Twenty-one: clear bottle or jar with lid, vegetable oil, food coloring, glitter(optional)

Day Twenty-two: pink square paper (for origami)

Day Twenty-three: fish & bread for dinner, construction paper, glue, and glitter

Day Twenty-four: blue Jello cups or mix, whip cream, teddy grahams

Day Nineteen: Monday: Boy Alive!

Read Luke 7:11-17

Discussion:

– What significance would it have been to the widow if her son had not been raised? Think about the culture at the time. Who would she have had to care for her?

– Would you have been afraid to see someone sit up out of a coffin?

Activity:

– Paint a picture of the story. Add this to your Lenten artwork.

Day Twenty: Tuesday: Alabaster Box

Read Luke 7:36-50

OR

Washed With Tears, p.280-285 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– What did the story of the debtors have to do with the woman and the Pharisee?

– Was there significance in the act of washing Jesus’s feet?

– Who can forgive sins?

Activity:

– Foot Washin’! Gather your supplies. If you have one of those pedicure tubs, pull it out! Or just grab a basin and some water. Grab some oils, lotions, whatever you have. Spare no expense. Wash the feet of those in your family. You can either do all of them. Mom and Dad can wash all feet together. Or you can all take turns.

– Alternatively: Make a luxurious bubble bath for each member of the family. Go overboard on bubbles, lotions, and fabulous bath goodness. The goal is to make everyone feel loved through pampering.

Day Tweny-One: Wednesday: Calming A Storm

Read Mark 4:35-41

OR

The Captain of The Storm, p.236- 243 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: The Storm, p.178-179 in Jesus Calling Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Have you ever said to God, “Do you not even care that I am perishing?”

– Do you find that faith calms your fears?

– Have you ever felt the awe the disciples felt in your walk with Jesus? That “who is this that the wind and sea obey him” kind of feeling?

Activities:

– Storm in A Bottle: You’ll need a clear bottler jar, water, vegetable oil, food coloring (blue is the most “sea” like, but you could do any color), glitter is optional.

Fill your water or jar half way with oil. Drop in a few drops of food coloring. Add glitter if you are adding it. Fill the rest of the way with water. Add lid. Shake it around to mix the water and food coloring. Now, you can make a storm in the bottle! Rock it back and forth to make waves. Spin it in circles to make whirlwinds.

Day Twenty-Two: Thursday: Demons Into Pigs

Read Matthew 8:28-34

Discussion:

– Do you find it interesting that the demons recognized Jesus as the Son of God?

– We see demon possession in the Bible, yet we don’t hear much about it today. Do you think this is still something that happens? Does this give a new real ness to the term “spiritual warfare”?

– Jesus did something good for these men. Why do the people in the city beg Jesus to leave?

Activity:

– Make an Origami Pig! Origami is paper folding. It may take some practice to get the shapes right, but I am sure you’ll get it with practice.

Day Twenty-Three: Friday: Jesus Feeds 5,000

Read Matthew 14:13-21

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: The Fishes & The Loaves, p.180-181 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

OR

Filled Full!, p.244-249 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Do you think Jesus was tempted to be mad that all these people were following Him when He was trying to be alone?

– How many people would you guess were really there?

– What do you think they did with the leftovers?

– Do you think anyone in the crowd said, “No thanks. I’m on a low carb, mercury free diet?”

Activity:

– What’s for Dinner? Fish & Bread! Yep. Put that one the menu for dinner tonight. See what they think.

– Fish and Loaves Craft: You will need construction paper, glue, and glitter. Each person will need to cut out 5 loaves of bread from brown construction paper. With another color construction paper, you’ll cut out two fish. Use the glue to draw some lovely scales on the fish. Sprinkle with glitter. Glue all to a backdrop piece of construction paper. Add to Lenten artwork!

Day Twenty-Four: Saturday: Walking on Water

Read Matthew 14: 22-33

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: Jesus Walks on Water p.182-183 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

Discussion:

– The disciples had seen many miracles, why would they think “ghost” before “Jesus”?

– Discuss the boldness of Peter to even think to step out of the boat.

– Why did none of the other disciples try to walk on water?

– Do you ever feel like you are sinking and need to focus your eyes back on Jesus?

Activity:

– Walking on Water Snack: You’ll need blue jello, whip cream (or cool whip), and teddy Grahams (or Annie Bunny, whatever you use in your house). Make everyone a cup of blue Jello. Let it sit. Before you serve, add whip cream to the top, prop up two teddy grahams on the top of the whip cream! Enjoy.

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This Advent devotional is written for you, for me. It is a personal devotional for the season of Advent. Advent includes the four Sundays leading up to Christmas. Once Christmas arrives, we’re on to the 12 Days of Christmas—like the song. While I usually write family devotions, this one is intended to be personal; although, you can use it however you like. I’ve intentionally chosen a translation of Scripture that I think you’ll be a little unfamiliar with; I wanted it to read like something new. Sometimes our familiarity with Scripture makes us deaf to what it is saying. If you don’t enjoy the translation I’m using, feel free to look the verses up and read them in your own Bible. I’ve also included a song for each day. I’ve carefully chosen them specifically for each devotional, so I do hope you’ll choose to take the time to listen to them. It is my prayer that in embracing the ordinariness of the season, we’ll find ourselves looking down into the manger and seeing something new in the face of the Baby who came to save us. I pray we’ll not jump ahead to the cross but, instead, sit with our infant King for this season. I pray that this ordinary start to the cycle of the liturgical calendar will be a grounding experience as we move into a new year as His people. Instead of trying to be simple as an apology, I want to embrace it. This is an ordinary December. I’m an ordinary mom. And Jesus still came to save me, and He will meet me here.

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