This post originally appeared in the Doorposts column on the John and Charles Wesley Center for Christian Thought and Apologetics. You can find the original post here.

Looking for Community

You will not find so much loathing as you will find in an online mom’s group. As a new mom looking for a way out of the loneliness that accompanied leaving the bustling world outside my home for the bustling world inside my home, I found myself surrounded by seasoned women who did nothing but disparage their husbands and curse their children. These women were proud to be “hot messes” and took great pride in their attempts at “self-care”. Their entire lives revolved around painting themselves to be Cinderella for their families. Poor them. They had to change diapers. Poor them. They had to provide snacks for hungry toddlers. Poor them. They had to vacuum the living room. And I could see how this thankless work could become a burden, but I could also see that this was exactly what I’d been praying for. 

Loneliness Not Required

Motherhood doesn’t have to be lonely; it isn’t meant to be. As Paul writes to Titus, the Church should be offering the community opportunities that new mothers so desperately need. (And young fathers, and singles, and seniors.) He knew that young mothers would need mentors. Older women would need someone to pour into. He knew young men would need to be guided. Older men needed a way to give back. I find it fascinating that Paul knew what the alternative would be. Reviling of the word of God. (Revile: loathe: curse: disparage.) Reviling that man should not be alone and the two will become one. Reviling that children are a blessing and inheritance from the LORD. Sound familiar? 

Needing the Real Church

When we look at our own church community, we tend to think about what they can do for us. We want a community that looks exactly like where we are in life. We’re Goldilocks going from church to church saying, “Too old,” “Too young,” “Too formal,” “Too casual,” “Too big,” “Too small”—looking for that one “magical” church that we can declare is “just right”. But that’s not the Church Paul is describing. We don’t need to find others exactly where we are to be benefitted by a community of believers. We need whomever God has sent us in our local church.

As a young mom, that meant a few moms a decade older than me and a lot of grandmothers and great-grandmothers. I loved the church I had my first children in. I might not have taken all their advice (I wasn’t going to feed my babies raw eggs or give them sugar wrapped in cheesecloth as a pacifier), but I did appreciate their experience. They were hard-working women who stood alongside their husbands and raised strong kids in church. I needed them! And I like to think they needed me, too. Even though I really only had baby rolls and toddlers crawling under pews during service to offer. (And some amazing glazed carrots.) That is what the Body is meant to be. I didn’t need to wallow. I needed to learn to be strong, self-controlled, and work hard in my home. 

Middle Motherhood Needs the Church

Now, I’m a middle mom. (I just coined that term), I’ve got teenagers (and babies), but I’m not “done”. But I know where I fit in my church community. Encouragement. Teaching what is good. Training young moms to love their kids and their husbands and to work hard in their homes. I know where I fit into this picture. (Thanks, Paul.) I’m sometimes the one still needing training. I’m now sometimes the one doing the training. But we all have our place because we aren’t meant to do this alone. We all need one another in the body. And it seems that is especially true of mothers. (See how much emphasis Paul is putting on the church ladies?) 

Advice to New Moms

If you’re a new mom, forget the mom groups. Just open up to the women God has already given you. If you don’t have a church home, find one. Settle in. Get to know people. Let them get to know you. Find your mentors. Don’t revile the things God has blessed you with. You get to care for those babies. You get to serve your husband. You get a home to manage, clean, adorn, and care for. These are blessings! Don’t be tricked into thinking a blessing is a curse. 

All Moms Need the Church

If you’re not a new mom, forget mom groups. Open up to the women God has already given you. If you don’t have a church home, find one. Settle in. Get to know people. Let them get to know you. Find people you can pour yourself into. Find people who can pour themselves into you.

We Need the Church

I know this is largely focused on moms. Mostly, that is because I am a mom. But also, because this openness and mentorship type relationship isn’t common for women. Men tend to seek out mentorship. Women tend to be more competitive and seek out places to vent. But men, be open with the men in your life. Find community and accountability. Don’t revile the things God has blessed you with. I need all of you there. And you need me.

Other Notes from the Parsonage Posts You Might Like

• Choose Today
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• Get Out of Crisis Mode
• Word Before World

Things I Have to Say

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Secular Was Not A Solution to My Problem

When my children were young, I found myself in a homeschooling predicament. The problem was that we are Wesleyan-Arminian Christians, and most Christian homeschooling curriculum is not Wesleyan-Arminian. We haven’t been very good in our tradition with publishing, and we’re especially anemic when it comes to homeschooling resources.

I tried a few Reformed resources, but they didn’t perfectly fit our family. We tried Catholic resources and found that they, too, were not a perfect fit. In my frustration, I made a mistake that I think many homeschoolers might make in my shoes. I started opting for “secular” resources over “Christian” resources, thinking I was opting for a neutral option.

Secular Is Not Neutral

However, I was wrong. “Secular” is not neutral. Everyone has a worldview. No matter how “unbiased” we claim to be, we all have biases. We all have a lens through which we see the world, which is our worldview. In my frustration over comparatively-small theological differences among fellow Christians, I was opting to use resources from a completely different lens. It wasn’t neutral. And I knew it. I had to make more adjustments to make secular resources fit— but I felt like I was just laying my theology on top of a blank book— which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

The difference between the theological differences among Christian resources was more akin to having hazelnut creamer when I wanted caramel creamer. The difference in secular resources with the worldview I wanted to teach my children was more like trying to substitute motor oil for creamer. They were just completely different things. Why was I comfortable using the devil’s resources? Why was I okay with letting the world shape my children? I was wrong. Very wrong.

Does Theology Matter?

I’m not saying the theological differences don’t matter. There are reasons we’re Wesleyan-Arminian in tradition and not Reformed, Catholic, Charismatic, etc. Those are very valid reasons, and I do think the theology matters. But when it is all said and done, those are still my brothers and sisters in Christ. As long as we agree on the big issues of orthodoxy (basically what’s in the Creeds), we’re following the same Jesus. I should have trusted my kids to those resources over the secular ones. Would that have meant more conversations about points of theological differences? Sure. But those are worthwhile conversations to have. Who doesn’t need to be reminded of their baptism? Or to discuss personal holiness? And would I rather point my kids to Jesus in every way possible? I should have.

What is the Solution?

Do I wish there were more Wesleyan-Arminian resources? Yes. Let’s get on that. Please. But in the meantime, I’m okay with using resources that aren’t necessarily in our theological camp as long as they point to the real Jesus. Because what we choose to use in our homeschool shapes our children. (Education is shaping. Homeschool, private, or public schooling is a shaping activity for our children.) I should have been more mindful of the worldview I was allowing to shape my children. And from now on, I will be.

Other Notes from the Parsonage Posts You May Enjoy

• Godbold Academy: Medieval History
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The post Secular Is Not Neutral appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

“Every boy needs to wear a cape at least once in his life.” – Uncle Brian

Kids love superhero capes! Well, my kids do, anyway. It can be frustrating to try to locate a cape that is generic enough to fit any pretend game they want to play. If your child wants to be a bat or spider, then you’re all set. But let’s say they want to be “Super Aidan” or “Super Turtle” or “A Bad Apple”, then where do you find a costume like that? If you’re like me, you make it!

Supplies for Superhero Cape Sewing Tutorial

First, you’ll need your supplies! You can make this out of 2 fat quarters. (You know how I adore things you can make with a fat quarter!) Essentially, you’ll need two rectangles measuring 18″ x 22″. (2 fat quarters)

If you want the cape a little longer for an older or taller child, you’ll want yardage. I recommend 22″ – 24″ long to fit from 2 to 5 years old. If your Super Little Guy is taller or older, you may want to adjust. [You’ll need 1/2 yard of 2 non-directional fabrics (this would make two capes). If one or both of your fabrics has a vertical pattern, you’ll need 2/3rds of a yard.

You will also need some sort of closure. You can use ribbon, buttons, snaps, velcro… It is up to you! I make mine with plastic snaps, since I have a snap press and like the ease of snaps. (Remember, if you use buttons, make sure the child is past that “putting everything in their mouth” stage. You don’t want them to choke.)

Measuring and Cutting

My quilting ruler is 2″ wide and 18″ long. On the back side of your main fabric, mark 2″ from the top a 3 ” line in toward the cape on each side. Wow, that sounded confusing. I line up my ruler on the top of my fabric and draw a line from the outer edge to the 3″ mark of the ruler. Repeat for the other side.

Now, mark the edge 6″ down from your 3″ lines. Connect the end (toward the center) of the 3″ line with this 6″ mark, creating a triangle! (I did not fully cut out an 18″ by 22″ rectangle in the photo above. As you can see, I just measure it as I went along and cut the whole thing out at once. You can do this or you can cut your rectangles, then remove the triangle parts if you’d like. Either way works.)

Cut out the triangles you just drew.

You should have one piece of fabric now that looks like this! You can either cut out the other piece using the same method, or you can cut it out like I do.

Place your cut piece right side down onto your contrast fabric, right side up. (Right sides together.) (As you can see, I didn’t pre-cut my rectangles since I was using yardage, rather than fat quarters. Either way works.) Pin around the edges, securing both pieces of fabric together. Now cut the contrast fabric out, using the front as your template. Now your pieces are already right sides together and pinned, ready to sew!

If you cut the pieces out separately, you’ll now want to pin both pieces right sides together before you sew them.

If you are going to use ribbon as a closure for the cape, you’ll need to sandwich and pin that in between the fabrics now, before you begin sewing.

Sewing the Superhero Cape

Time to sew! Sew around the edges of the fabric, leaving a hole in the top for turning. Clip your corners and notch the angles of the triangle cut outs. You want them to lay as flat as possible.

Flip your cape right sides out, push out the corners, and press flat.

Topstitch around the edges.

Add your snaps, buttons, or velcro if you need to.

Done!

As you can see, the “collar” of  the cape is meant to flip over, showing the contrast fabric. However, it works either way! Now you have a reversible cape for your Super Little Guy (or Gal)!

You can do with this pattern as you wish. However, please don’t take credit for the design. It’d be nice of you to share the free pattern with others. Enjoy!

Other Notes From the Parsonage Posts You Might Enjoy

• Plastic Bag Holder Tutorial
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The post Superhero Cape Sewing Tutorial appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

Meet Emery. Adorable. Right? Come on, you know that kid is cute. Life with Emery is not always easy. I know, I know. You’re looking at that angel face saying, “Certainly he is the most perfect child ever!” Okay, so you might not be saying quite that, but something along those lines. But this kid is a challenge. And it is my daily mission to stay sane, while raising him lovingly and letting him be who he is.

This isn’t my first trip to the Raising-A-Toddler rodeo, and it won’t be my last. I’ve still got years of this stuff ahead of me. I’ve learned some things along the way thus far. And I’m sure I’ll have plenty more of these tips once Ransom enters the ranks of toddlerhood. But for now, here are 33 tips for maintaining your sanity while raising a toddler. There may be some you just cannot do. And that’s cool. There may be some that you just don’t need with your perfectly behaved toddler. Okay. Lucky you. Some of these may be just the perspective changer you need.

1. Messes can be cleaned.

It doesn’t matter how big or small, know it can be cleaned. And if you don’t know how to clean it, grab some Dawn dish soap and jump right in. It can’t be worse than the mess in front of you, right?

2. If you are not willing to DO something about your toddler’s behavior, don’t SAY anything about it.

I call this “saving my nos.” You know there are times when you’re, say, melting chocolate on the stove and you notice your toddler taking book after book off the shelf into a room beyond your line of vision. You aren’t willing to leave the chocolate to burn, so you yell, “No! Stop taking books off the shelf!” Well, your toddler will likely not listen to you. You are then left in the predicament of continually yelling at a little person who now KNOWS you aren’t willing to actually DO anything or you just let it go, and you’ve wasted a “no”. (You said no, they didn’t listen, nothing happened.) You get your blood pressure up about it. And you aren’t even sure of what they are doing in the other room. You might be right, they might be making a book tower to stand on to grab that beautiful ceramic vase they’ve been eyeing for years. Or they might just be giving each stuffed animal a book to read. You don’t know. But to save yourself the future trouble of them testing your no and save yourself the headache of having to keep yelling at the kid when they have clearly tuned you out. Just keep melting the chocolate. You’ll deal with the mess later.

3. Toddler proofing is not the same as baby proofing, and you need to do it.

When your baby was small, you baby proofed your house. You crawled around looking for hidden dangers for baby. You cleared off the coffee table. You put foam edges on your hearth. You plugged all the electrical outlets. But now, that baby is a toddler. And he can reach anything you can. Why? Because he can climb like a frickin’ monkey. (Seriously, Emery can scale walls!) So, that baby proofing you did just isn’t enough. You’ve got to tether the furniture to the walls. Anything of value needs to find a home in a box and hang out in the attic for a few years. Because, let’s face it, those peanut butter covered finger are just drawn to whatever it is Mommy finds most valuable to her. Wedding photos meet sharpie. First edition signed copy of a book, rip….. Glass vase passed down every generation on your wedding day- crash! Save yourself the headache and heartache and just put them away. (And by away, I mean far, far away. The top shelf might be 7 feet high, but your toddler can still get to it.)

4. Embrace the zen of things being already broken.

I once read an article about embracing the zen of toys being broken when you get them. Basically, you get something new and in your mind, the thing is broken. You spend each day that it isn’t broken excited, and loving it for the time. But when the day comes and the thing breaks, you don’t grieve, for it was already broken. Sounds strange. Sounds crazy. But it works. And it doesn’t just work for toys! It works for that awesome coffee cup you just bought. Or those lovely stemless wine glasses that you have been eyeing and finally possess. One day, they’ll break. View that as an inevitability. And when the day comes, and your coffee cup breaks (in the hands of your toddler, I’m sure) or your set of 8 wine glasses is down to 3, you’ll be okay. You won’t be upset. Because you viewed these as transient things.  You enjoyed them while they were whole, and now you can move on.

5. Don’t buy double rolls of toilet paper!

But I’ll have to change my toilet paper more often! Hear me out, here. You buy a double roll, you use it for a few days, then your toddler decides to put the end in the toilet and flush, watching the whole roll unravel on its way down. You just wasted over half of your double roll! Buy the single rolls. When your toddler has his inevitable toilet paper adventures, less paper waste and lesser chance of a clogged toilet. Embrace the single roll!

6. Don’t get over-zealous about potty training.

You know, one of the most stressful events with a toddler is not the messes he makes or the things he breaks. It is teaching him to quit pooping himself. Most parents really stress themselves out over potty training. They have some self-imposed deadline in their head and their child will be potty trained by the deadline, dagnabit! Only, the toddler isn’t aware of the deadline. The toddler isn’t even completely convinced in the necessity of using the toilet. And so the battle begins. I battled with my first with the potty. I begged. I cried. I bribed. I gave up. I resolved to get her on that blasted pink potty! She eventually got it. She’s 5 and she can use the toilet now, praise the Lord. I stressed us both out over something she was eventually going to get. My stressing over it and pushing her did not help her in the least. It did not help me in the least. Aidan got a bit forgotten in the potty training area. I potty trained Imogene and needed a break, though it was “his turn” since he is not too much younger than his sister. I didn’t bother, citing that boys needed longer anyway and I needed a potty training break. Guess what? He still learned to use the potty. On his own. No tears from me. No begging. No bribing. He figured it out all on his own. Now, he is that kind of kid. (You know the type. Engineer brain, I call him. He sees the way things work and he applies it for himself.) But the point is, he learned without my efforts. So, don’t stress out over it. They’ll get it soon enough and diaper days will be behind you.

7. Don’t compare toddlers!

If you’ve got more than 1 child, you know that no two kids are alike. Yet, you’ll often find yourself comparing what your younger one is doing compared to your recollection of what the older one was doing around the same age. You’ll find yourself comparing your toddler to the one you see at the park. Stop it. Stop comparing. You’ll only frustrate yourself. The kid you see at the park, you see for just a few moments of her day. You don’t see the little train wreck she is a bed time or the way she pitches a royal-knock-down-drag-out fit if she even senses healthy food of any sort in her vicinity. Assume you see every toddler at their best. (Or, if you see their fall-on-the-floor-thrash-around fit, assume they are at their worst.) But don’t compare. I’ve had 3 toddlers thus far and can tell you they are each very different and each complicated in their own way. So what if Suzy 2 year old can recite her ABCs and count to 20. Your kid can climb trees higher than most adults!

8. Find a way to internally mock those “my kid is better than yours” or “I know everything” parents.

I’m not saying be mean to them. I’m just saying, take lightly everything they say. So, Suzy can count to 20. I’m sure there is something Suzy cannot do. Don’t let Suzy’s Mom make you feel like a bad parent. Your kids are different. You are different. She doesn’t know your kid. She doesn’t parent your kid. You re the expert on your child. Ignore Suzy’s Mom. Making a farce of such parents will keep you from taking their criticisms and “advice” to heart. It’ll keep you sane.

9. Don’t be embarrassed by your toddler’s escapades- they are no reflection on your parenting ability.

People without toddlers look at a tantrum and say, “Look at that horribly parenting. If that were my child I would, blah de blah blah. And furthermore, my child will never behave in that manner!” If you’ve ever had a toddler, you look at a toddler’s tantrum and say, “Man! I remember those days! Stay strong, Mama. This too shall pass.” See, there is always going to be someone in the crowd (usually the least experienced) who will have some critique and assume your parenting is to blame. But the majority of the crowd knows that this is just what it is like living with a toddler! So ignore the few that don’t have a clue what they’re talking about. Ignore those shocked stares. Let your toddler pitch his fit because his Happy Meal now comes with fries and apples. (How dare they give me both and not let me choose anymore!) The “experts” around you (those normal moms who have toddlers or have had them) sympathize. Don’t feel the least bit bad or guilty. Toddlers pitch fits. Some more than others. You’re still a good mom. (And in my book, you get bonus points for continuing on your merry way and not let the fit even so much as faze you. I know you are my sister, a girl after my own heart!

10. What works for one toddler, will not work for all toddlers. What works for one mom, will not work for all moms.

You’ve been on the internet (you’re on it now!), you’ve read all the advice from all the “experts” about how to potty train, how to get your kid to eat better, how to limit temper tantrums, how to stop your toddler from biting. You’ve tried some of this sage advice. You feel like a failure when it doesn’t work. Wait! What happened?! Andrew’s Mother swore up and down bitter apple would stop my child from biting his brother again! But it just made my child more angry and he bit me! What did I do wrong?! You didn’t do anything wrong. You just aren’t raising Andrew. (And I do not recommend bitter apple for biting. I’ve never even heard of using it with kids, only dogs. So don’t try it and cite me on it.) You’re not Andrew’s mom. So, though the “experts” may claim (and I always check and see if the expert has even raised children) a fool-proof plan to sneak veggies into your child’s diet, know your child may not be fooled. There is no one size fits all advice for toddlers. There is no one size fits all advice for parenting. I’ve got 4 kids and have to do things differently for all 4. You think you’ve got this parenting thing in the bag, and then the next kid doesn’t respond to your ways. Nothing is wrong with them, or you. You’ve just got to adjust and adapt.

11. Just because he likes it today, doesn’t mean he’ll like it tomorrow. (Just because it works today, doesn’t mean it will work tomorrow.)

These toddlers are fickle little things. Today, string cheese is their favorite snack in the world! Tomorrow, they throw the cheese at you and scream! (You fool! Don’t you know string cheese is out! Fruit leather is the new string cheese! Sheesh.) Today, you find he’ll actually clean up his own toys if you play the “Clean It Up” song by Yo Gabba Gabba. Tomorrow, you turn the magic tunes on and he makes a bigger mess! Don’t fret. Toddlers are fickle. It isn’t you. Just roll with it.

12. Put the number for poison control on speed dial.

You know, the moment your kid ingests floor cleaner is usually a few moments after he flushed that poison control magnet down the toilet. Go ahead and put the number on speed dial. And don’t worry, poison control assures me that they aren’t tracking my calls for investigative purposes. (Yes, I called so much I had to ask.)

13. Put the number to the local Children’s Hospital Nurse Line on speed dial.

You’re at the playground, suddenly the stick that was a pretend sword is now in your toddlers eye. You’ll be glad you’ve got the nurse line on your speed dial to determine if your should take your toddler to your regular doctor, urgent care, or the ER.

14. “Child Proof” is a relative term.

When dealing with a toddler, “child proof” simply means it buys you a little time before they get into whatever it is you’re trying to keep them from. They’ll eventually figure out those cabinet locks. They’ll eventually figure out the child-proof medicine tops. The trick is to not give them long with those things, so hopefully you don’t have to call poison control. With a toddler, you want to double and triple up your child-proof stuff. (Medicine in a child-proof bottle, inside a tote with a latch, inside a cabinet with a lock.) Hopefully you’ll catch them before they get through all layers of protection.

15. Switch to more child-friendly cleaners, at least while they’re in this phase of life.

I know, you love your bleach and ammonia. But how much are you going to love your toddler getting into those things? Consider switching to more kid-friendly cleaners, at least until this exploring and destroying phase is over. (Fabuloso is safe-ish around toddlers. It is just soap, so drinking it just upsets the tummy. I know from personal experience.) Switch to vinegar or just soap and water.

16. “Spill-proof” is a relative term.

Spill -proof usually means that when the cup falls onto its side, it does not spill completely. However, when a toddler shakes it upside down, it might sprinkle. When they throw it against the wall, it might leak. And of course, they could just suck it out and spit it all over your white couch.

17. Lids are a must on all cups- even yours.

You think to put your toddler’s drink in a spill-proof sippy, but what about your sweet tea you keep with you all day? Put a lid on that, too. It won’t keep it from getting spilled, but it will minimize the mess when it is spilled. Consider travel cups for everything anyone in the house is drinking that isn’t at the dinner table.

18. Invest in a steam cleaner.

If you’ve got carpet and a toddler, you need a steam cleaner. Even if you have your carpet professionally cleaner twice a year, you need a steam cleaner. Some messes are just less stressful with a steam cleaner around.

19. Remember, your main goal of the toddler years is simply keeping the child alive.

If your toddler is alive at the end of the day, you’ve done your job. It doesn’t matter that all they’ve eaten is dog food and they’re covered in marker. They are living. No permanent damage has been rendered to them today. Good job, mom!

20. Delight in small victories.

Life with a toddler can be rough. It is easy to get bogged down. You’ve cleaned mess after mess, the house is still a wreck, the kid is throwing his umpteen-thousandth temper tantrum, and you’re about to loose you shmidt. Learn to celebrate your small victories! He colored mostly on the paper with the Sharpie this time, only a few marks on the table- that is improvement! He ate 2 beans at dinner tonight when yesterday he tossed his plate against the wall. Winning! He brought me a book to read to him! Sure he only sat for a few pages, but he is interested in reading! Yes!

21. The cuter the outfit, the more staining the mud/lipstick/paint.

It never fails, I put my toddler in the most adorable outfit and before we even get out of the house, it’s ruined. And not ruined like, he can’t wear it today. Ruined like, he’ll never wear this again. It just seems to always happen. The cuter the outfit is one him, the bigger and deeper the stain. Save your sanity. Enjoy the cute outfit for the two seconds it is cute. If you have to, put it on them and take a picture immediately. We all know the outfit will never be the same. (This is why I laugh when people say, “Oh, you’ve got three boys! At least you already have all the boy stuff to pass down.” Pass down? What’s that? Do boy’s clothes beyond a certain size make it out in one piece?)

22. If you don’t make the most of unconventional canvases, they will.

Toddlers love to make messes. It is just part of their little natures. If you don’t provide unconventional canvases to make messes upon, they’ll find their own. So, let them color the side of the house with chalk. Let them use the chalk to “decorate” your brick hearth. Because if I’ve got to choose between cleaning chalk of the hearth at the end of the day and cleaning Sharpie off my white chenille bed spread, I’m going with the hearth. (The second is impossible.) Their messes will be made. So take advantage of opportunities to put the messes in the best place for you.

23. The second you try to show them off, they’ll act a fool.

Emery can count. He can count very well. The second I say, “Emery, show Mrs. Jan how you can count.” he acts out. Not just folding his arms and refusing to count (though he has done so before). But yelling, screaming, kicking, “Noooo!”

Emery tells jokes. He only knows one joke, but varies it constantly. If I say, “Emery, tell Daddy your joke.” That kid will act like I’ve got two heads. Suddenly the word “joke” has no meaning. So, I prompt him. “Say, ‘Knock, knock!'” “No!” “Come on Emery. ‘Knock, knock!'” “NOOOOO!!!!”

24. Don’t take it personally.

They love you. Really they do. Screaming “No!” in your face and then throwing a cookie at you isn’t a personal affront. They don’t think poorly of you just because they scream “SHUT UP!” when you say, “I love you, sweet boy.” None of it is personal. It isn’t you against them. It is just them learning how the world works. (And by all means, you can tell them not to tell you to shut up or tell them they hurt your feeling. Though, I wouldn’t expect empathy- they’ve got none. Little sociopaths.) So, don’t get your feelings hurt when they refuse your kisses. They are just flexing their autonomy. It’s nothing personal.

25. They do not like age appropriate toys.

Save your money, they aren’t going to play with that toddler toy that is “all the rage.” Being a top toy only means that lots of parents buy it, not that lots of kids like it. You get them a play broom, they’ll still scream for the Swiffer. You get them a play kitchen, they’ll still be up under your feet to “help” you cook. Toddlers like the real thing. No fakes. So, shorten the Swiffer and let them to town. (You can actually shorten a Swiffer to be kid sized. Just remove one of the rods in the handle.) Give them a duster and let them work. Hand over spoons and bowls and let them play.

26. Limit your expectations.

They are toddlers. It is a difficult transition phase for you. They were your baby, now they are growing. As they grow, it is easy to have unrealistic expectations. While we can’t treat them like babies, we also can’t expect 5 year old behavior from a 2 year old. Just because they can sometimes help pick up toys doesn’t mean we can expect them to keep their rooms clean. Just because they sometimes refrain from taking the toys of others, doesn’t mean we expect them to be self-giving all the time. Anytime you find yourself frustrated that your toddler isn’t behaving as they should, think about what it is you are expecting of them and decide if it is an acceptable expectation. Don’t sell them short, but don’t hold such high standards they’ll always fail.

27. Don’t expect them to just go with the flow.

There are toddlers who go with the flow. It is built into their little personalities. They’ll always be that way. Everyone cannot be that way. So while you may wish you’re little one would just go with the flow, he may be yelling, “Go with the flow?! Woman! I am the flow!” And you know what? The world needs those kinds of people. Yes, they are inconvenient toddlers, but they make awesome leaders.

28. Bribes just don’t work. Save your breath and money.

Bribing a toddler is a futile activity. They just don’t really get the whole delayed gratification bit, which is what a bribe is. Putting aside the discussion on if it is best or not for kids, plain and simple, it just doesn’t work for toddlers. You may find it works one day, because the kid is tired of feeling amicable that day. But you’ll find that with a toddler, more often than not, your bribes will fail. So save your efforts and don’t bother attempting it.

29. You don’t have to entertain them all day.

That is a novel idea to some parents, I’m sure. But the fact is, your toddler will be happy, smart, and well-adjusted without your over-enthusiastic attempts to keep him that way. They can play alone. They can invent their own games. You don’t have to schedule activity after activity for them. It is okay to sit on the patio and read while they pick at blades of grass. You don’t have to be actively playing with them all day every day. Sure, there are times you’ll want to have a planned activity for them, but they flourish with free time. I know you think, “Lordy me! He’s just bored to death. He’s just piling up rocks and then moving the pile! I need to do something with him.” But stop! He’s learning. He’s exploring. He’s safe. He’s happy. You can sit back, drink your lemonade and continue reading your Sookie Stackhouse novel. If you’ve been entertaining your kid every hour of the day, you may find him resistant to playing alone at first. Encourage him to spread his little wings. He’ll be entertaining himself in no time.

30. Enlist in the help of his little friends.

Sometimes, talking through toys is the best way to get your toddler to listen. With Emery, that means talking to Ribbert, his Scentsy Buddy. A few evenings in a row, Emery suddenly HATED the concept of bedtime. This, from a kid who would BEG to go to bed just 8 months before. I tried talking to Emery. I tried just making him go to bed and protest and keep putting him back in bed. In desperation, I turned to Ribbert. I said, “Ribbert, stop screaming at me!” Immediately, Emery was quite. I continued, “Ribbert, it is bedtime. There willl be plenty of time to play tomorrow, but tonight, you must go to bed.” Emery joined in, “To bed, Ribbert!” I tucked Emery and Ribbert in bed. “Would you like me to sing ou a song or tell you a stroy, Ribbert?” Emery replies, “He like song. Twinkle. Twinkle.” I sang the song. Kissed Emery and Ribbert, and they were in bed. Suddenly, it wasn’t a power struggle to Emery. I took it from being between me and Emery and made it between me and Ribbert. Emery was moved from his spot as being in the fight for control to being an observer. He was free to “give in” without loosing his autonomy. I gave him an out to stop fighting.

It won’t always work. (See the previous point about everything not working for every kid, every time!) But if you’ve tried everything else, give it a shot. if nothing else, it lightens the mood.

31. Give them options, but not too many!

Toddlers are learning that they can control things. They are suddenly the boss of their world. From babies being carried about with no control over who was holding them, where they were, what they ate, or what the wore they move into this new stage where they can cause things to happen. If they scream loud enough, long enough, they get their way. They want choices, dangit! The trick is to give them options so they can choose. Let them have some control in their lives. But don’t overwhelm them. I usually give two options when I can. At bedtime, I pull out two sets of pjs. This turns the tables. It isn’t about if they’ll consent to wearing the pjs, it is about which pjs they’ll wear. The same goes for snack time. The entire contents of the kitchen aren’t up for grabs (it would take forever, and many mind changes to get him settled on anything). He can choose a banana or some cheese crackers. He’s happy. I’m happy.

Of course, there are times when neither of the two options is sufficient. That happens. Stinkin’ tiny, cute dictators! You just have to know what things you’ll just let go and which are non-negotiable. Are pjs for bed a must or can they sleep in their diaper alone? Are you willing to say “no snack” or is it okay that they chose a fruit leather when you offered crackers or a banana. Is the couch an acceptable napping spot or do they really have to go to their bed, even if it means they won’t sleep? That stuff depends on you and what you know of them.

32. If it looks like poop, treat it like poop until it is proven otherwise.

If a toddler walks over to you holding anything that appears to be poop, you assume it is poop. If you find a “painting” on the wall and you think, “Is it chocolate or poop?” You treat it like poop. Never smell a toddler’s could-be-poop hands. You’ll just end up with poop on your nose. In the end, you’ll never regret treating the come-to-find-out-it-is-only-chocolate like poop. You will, however, regret assuming chocolate when it turns out to be poop. And 9 times out of 10, it’s poop.

33. Enjoy it. But don’t feel bad that you don’t enjoy the moment you’re cleaning human feces out of the carpet.

You know they’l only be toddlers once (Praise the Lord!). Take the time to enjoy the funny things they do and say. Enjoy watching them explore and learn. Celebrate this time with them. But don’t feel guilty that at times, you just can’t find the silver lining. Don’t feel bad about being annoyed that you’re steam cleaning chocolate footprints off the floor for the fourth time this week. (Blasted “fridge lock” never worked correctly!) Sometimes life with  toddler just sucks. Cleaning up their messes while being screamed at is no fun. Maybe you’ll laugh about this one day, but today, it ain’t funny.

Write down those messes they make. Maybe one day, you’ll get a book deal writing about all these escapades. That might make cleaning permanent marker off the hardwood floor worht it. Or maybe you’ll just pass your notes on to this toddler when he’s a grown man with his first child turning two. It just might bring him a bit of perspective. Or he’ll assume you are a vry lousy parent to allow him to stab his eyeball with fabric scissors not once, but twice! It’s okay. By the time his first child is 4, he’ll understand.

He’ll be a man one day. And this one, he’s going to be Chuck Norris.

The post 33 Tips for Maintaining Your Sanity While Raising a Toddler appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

– Feathers (or birds, whatever you happen to find and like)

– Something purple (it can be a flower, ribbon, fabric- it is up to you)

– Something black (flower, ribbon, do-dad, whatever you like)

– Something linen (ribbon, scrap of fabric, flower, butterfly)

– Something white (flower, ribbon, butterfly, lily, etc.)

Day Thirty-Seven: Monday: Betrayal & Arrest

Read John 18:1-14

OR

Jesus Is Arrested, p.210-211 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

OR

A Dark Night In The Garden, p.294-301 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Judas saw all the same miracles that Jesus performed as the rest of the disciples. Why do you think he would betray Jesus?

– Peter the bold stepping up again and cutting off a dude’s ear! Why do you think Jesus rebuked him?

Activity:

– Today, we’re adding some gold to our wreath to represent the betrayal of Jesus.

Day Thirty-Eight: Tuesday: Peter’s Denial

Read John 13:36-38; 18:15-18; 18:25-27

OR

Peter Denies Jesus, p. 212-213 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

Discussion:

– Why did Peter deny Jesus?

– What do you think went through Peter’s head as the rooster crowed?

– Do you ever try to hide your faith?

Activity:

– Adding to our wreath some feathers to signify the rooster crowing at the betrayal of Christ.

Day Thirty-Nine: Wednesday: Jesus’ Trial

Read John 18:28-40; 19:1-6 and Luke 23:1-25

Discuss:

– Did Pilate want to punish Jesus? Why did he agree to it?

– Why would the people choose Barabbas’ release over releasing Jesus?

– Was any of this fair?

Activity:

– Today, we are adding purple to our wreath, like the robe used to mock Jesus.

Day Forty: Thursday: Crucifixation

Read John 19:16-37 and Luke 23:26-49

OR

The Sun Stops Shining, p. 302-307 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

OR

Good Friday, p.214-219 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

Discussion:

– Take some time to discuss the impact of the crucifixion on your hearts today. What does the death of Christ mean? If you need a big word to focus on, Justification and Atonement are good ones to explore.

Activity:

– Though Good Friday is tomorrow, we’re taking time today to reflect on what is coming. Today, we’ll be adding black, the color of mourning, to our wreath.

Day Forty-One: Friday: Burial of Jesus

Read John 19:38-42 and Luke 23:50-56

OR

The Sun Stops Shining, p. 308-309 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discuss:

– What do you think the soul of Jesus was doing while his body was being buried?

– How do you think His followers felt?

Activity:

– Today, we’re adding linen to our wreath, to represent the linen they wrapped Jesus in.

Day Forty-Two: Saturday: Resurrection

We’ve made it through. Today, is the last day of Lent. While today is the day the world waited. Tomorrow will be Easter, and look forward to his Resurrection.

Read John 20:1-10 and Luke 24:1-40

OR

Easter Sunday, p.220-223 in Jesus Calling Storybook Bible

OR

God’s Wonderful Surprise, p.310-317 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Do you find it interesting the Jesus first appeared to women?

– When they first realized the body was gone, what do you think they thought happened?

– What does the Resurrection mean for us?

– What have you learned about Justification, Atonement, and Redemption?

Activity:

– Today, we finish our wreath. We add white, the color of the resurrection. And now your Easter wreath is complete. Hang it up or plan to gift it to someone special tomorrow, to remind them of the hope of Easter.

The post Lenten Family Devotion Week Seven  appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

Day Twenty: Foot washing supplies OR bubble bath supplies

Day Twenty-one: clear bottle or jar with lid, vegetable oil, food coloring, glitter(optional)

Day Twenty-two: pink square paper (for origami)

Day Twenty-three: fish & bread for dinner, construction paper, glue, and glitter

Day Twenty-four: blue Jello cups or mix, whip cream, teddy grahams

Day Nineteen: Monday: Boy Alive!

Read Luke 7:11-17

Discussion:

– What significance would it have been to the widow if her son had not been raised? Think about the culture at the time. Who would she have had to care for her?

– Would you have been afraid to see someone sit up out of a coffin?

Activity:

– Paint a picture of the story. Add this to your Lenten artwork.

Day Twenty: Tuesday: Alabaster Box

Read Luke 7:36-50

OR

Washed With Tears, p.280-285 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– What did the story of the debtors have to do with the woman and the Pharisee?

– Was there significance in the act of washing Jesus’s feet?

– Who can forgive sins?

Activity:

– Foot Washin’! Gather your supplies. If you have one of those pedicure tubs, pull it out! Or just grab a basin and some water. Grab some oils, lotions, whatever you have. Spare no expense. Wash the feet of those in your family. You can either do all of them. Mom and Dad can wash all feet together. Or you can all take turns.

– Alternatively: Make a luxurious bubble bath for each member of the family. Go overboard on bubbles, lotions, and fabulous bath goodness. The goal is to make everyone feel loved through pampering.

Day Tweny-One: Wednesday: Calming A Storm

Read Mark 4:35-41

OR

The Captain of The Storm, p.236- 243 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: The Storm, p.178-179 in Jesus Calling Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Have you ever said to God, “Do you not even care that I am perishing?”

– Do you find that faith calms your fears?

– Have you ever felt the awe the disciples felt in your walk with Jesus? That “who is this that the wind and sea obey him” kind of feeling?

Activities:

– Storm in A Bottle: You’ll need a clear bottler jar, water, vegetable oil, food coloring (blue is the most “sea” like, but you could do any color), glitter is optional.

Fill your water or jar half way with oil. Drop in a few drops of food coloring. Add glitter if you are adding it. Fill the rest of the way with water. Add lid. Shake it around to mix the water and food coloring. Now, you can make a storm in the bottle! Rock it back and forth to make waves. Spin it in circles to make whirlwinds.

Day Twenty-Two: Thursday: Demons Into Pigs

Read Matthew 8:28-34

Discussion:

– Do you find it interesting that the demons recognized Jesus as the Son of God?

– We see demon possession in the Bible, yet we don’t hear much about it today. Do you think this is still something that happens? Does this give a new real ness to the term “spiritual warfare”?

– Jesus did something good for these men. Why do the people in the city beg Jesus to leave?

Activity:

– Make an Origami Pig! Origami is paper folding. It may take some practice to get the shapes right, but I am sure you’ll get it with practice.

Day Twenty-Three: Friday: Jesus Feeds 5,000

Read Matthew 14:13-21

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: The Fishes & The Loaves, p.180-181 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

OR

Filled Full!, p.244-249 in The Jesus Storybook Bible

Discussion:

– Do you think Jesus was tempted to be mad that all these people were following Him when He was trying to be alone?

– How many people would you guess were really there?

– What do you think they did with the leftovers?

– Do you think anyone in the crowd said, “No thanks. I’m on a low carb, mercury free diet?”

Activity:

– What’s for Dinner? Fish & Bread! Yep. Put that one the menu for dinner tonight. See what they think.

– Fish and Loaves Craft: You will need construction paper, glue, and glitter. Each person will need to cut out 5 loaves of bread from brown construction paper. With another color construction paper, you’ll cut out two fish. Use the glue to draw some lovely scales on the fish. Sprinkle with glitter. Glue all to a backdrop piece of construction paper. Add to Lenten artwork!

Day Twenty-Four: Saturday: Walking on Water

Read Matthew 14: 22-33

OR

Jesus Works Miracles: Jesus Walks on Water p.182-183 in Jesus Calling Bible Storybook

Discussion:

– The disciples had seen many miracles, why would they think “ghost” before “Jesus”?

– Discuss the boldness of Peter to even think to step out of the boat.

– Why did none of the other disciples try to walk on water?

– Do you ever feel like you are sinking and need to focus your eyes back on Jesus?

Activity:

– Walking on Water Snack: You’ll need blue jello, whip cream (or cool whip), and teddy Grahams (or Annie Bunny, whatever you use in your house). Make everyone a cup of blue Jello. Let it sit. Before you serve, add whip cream to the top, prop up two teddy grahams on the top of the whip cream! Enjoy.

The post Lenten Devotional Week Four appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

Lent is a 40-day season, not including Sundays. It is the season that stretches from Ash Wednesday (which is March 1st this year) to Easter Sunday. This year, I have two pre-Lent devotions and then 40 days of devotions for the Lenten season. These are intended to be done as a family. Everyone. All together. Now, I add some optional activities into my devotions. Use them. Don’t use them. You make this work for you and your family.

For Lent, you’ll have one reading each day except for Sunday. Use them as a springboard to talk to your kids about the life of Christ. I’ve also included some questions to get discussion going. Expect to get as much out of this as your kids get. This isn’t just for them; this is for your entire family. You may want to look ahead each week and see if there are any items you’ll need for activities that week. I will add a quick “need” list at the beginning of each week, but if you’re picking and choosing activities, you’ll need to adjust that to fit you.

Who reads? That is up to you. In our house, I am usually the devotional reader, and the Pastor usually handles a lot of the questions. Although, we do sometimes alternate kids reading. It really just depends on our particular time constraints and if the kids are acting particularly cooperative that season. It varies.

If you miss a day, skip it. Don’t try to pile a bunch into one day. Just skip it and move to the next. It’ll be okay. Really.

I write these for my family and then make them available to you. Adjust them as you need, and make them fit you. If you need something short and sweet, just do the readings. If you’ve got littles, use a storybook Bible to read the stories. Do the devotions in the evening, and then let them do the activities the following day. Whatever works for you is what will be best.

I’ve included the Scripture passages, but also added the applicable pages from The Jesus Storybook Bible and Jesus Calling Bible Storybook. If you have younger kids, you may choose to read from a Bible storybook instead of the Bible text when you can (All the readings aren’t found in both Storybooks.), or you may just want to look them up so that the kids can have illustrations to go with the story. If you have another Storybook you love, use it. I simply chose the two that are the most used in our house.

My prayer is that this Lenten devotion brings your family closer to one another and closer to God during this season. I hope you grow as a family in your walk with Jesus, and I sincerely hope this Lenten season is meaningful for you and your children.

Week One

Week Two

Week Three

Week Four

Week Five

Week Six

Week Seven

** This post contains affiliate links. **

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The Rhetoric Stage is roughly high school. These students should be completely independent. Though, I do still include mine in Morning Basket, and choose at least one subject each year to do with them– not because they cannot do it on their own, but just to connect.

Bible/ Apologetics Curriculum

For Bible, all my kids who can read use the SOAP method of Bible study to do personal Bible reading each day. They keep this in a notebook. They choose whatever book of the Bible they want to read.

This year, I put together an Apologetics Course for my rhetoric stage students. Each book they read has a student guide that I created. We also have weekly discussion sessions to talk about what they are learning. The books they’ll be reading for Apologetics are:

On Guard

Mere Christianity

The Case for Christ

The Story of Reality

Can Science Explain Everything?

True for You, But Not for Me

A Student’s Guide to Culture

Medieval History Curriculum

For history, they’ll be using The History of the Medieval World as their spine. A spine is simply the book that they slowly throughout the year to keep their “timeline” moving. All other books are stacked and scheduled around this “spine”. They’ll be outlining each chapter as they read. They’re also reading The Time Traveler’s Guide to Medieval England.

Medieval Literature Curriculum

For literature, they have quite a heavy load to read. (Which is why I went a little lighter in the history section.) I have them keep notes as they read so they can use them to write a book summary when they finish a book. There are a couple books where we’ll be using the Canon Press Worldview Guide as they read. I also had a hard time deciding on a version of Beowulf. If you want to see my side by side comparison of three versions, check out my Instagram story titled “Compare Beowulf”.

Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

The Once and Future King

Pearl

Sir Orfeo

Beowulf

Hamlet (with Canon Press Worldview Guide)

The Canterbury Tales

The Three Musketeers

Don Quixote

Macbeth (with Canon Press Worldview Guide)

Romeo and Juliet

The Prince

Grammar and Writing Curriculum

For grammar, these students are actually using Rudiments of Anglo-Saxon. It is a guide for understanding and translating old English.

For writing, they’ll be using The Creative Writer, Volume 2 per their request. And they’re also reading Wordsmithy.

I noticed their handwriting has been slipping, so I’m having them do copywork into a handwriting notebook two days each week. They can copy something they have read, Scripture, or their memory work. They can choose print or cursive, just so long as they write neatly and cleanly. I’m not going to harass them about their handwriting outside of this notebook.

Biology Curriculum

For science, they’re using The Riot and The Dance including the labs. They’ll also be reading On the Origin of Species with the Canon Press Worldview Guide. They’re very excited about this class.

Character Curriculum

For character, they’ll be reading Confessions and Ivanhoe.

Logic Curriculum

I was going to replace logic with apologetics this year, but one of my rhetoric students revolted at that idea. So, they’ll be doing Canon Press’s Introductory Logic this year.

Foreign Languages Curriculum

For languages, they’ll be using Rosetta Stone for the language of their choice 4 days per week.

Math Curriculum

For math, they use Life of Fred. They’ve also been enjoying watching some Khan Academy videos, so they’ll do that, as well. This year, they’ll both be using Advanced Algebra.

For math, I always recommend that others stick with what is working for them. Math is so personal with what works for one kid might not work for another. And kids tend to get used to how their math is laid out, so changing curriculum can be quite a set back for them. So if it works, keep with it.

Other Notes From the Parsonage Posts You Might Enjoy

• Medieval History Curriculum for Grammar Stage Students
• Medieval History Curriculum for Logic Stage Students
• Medieval History Morning Basket Curriculum
• Ancient History Curriculum for Rhetoric Stage Students

**This post contains affiliate links. Using affiliate links is a great way to show your support for your favorite content creators.**

The post Medieval History Curriculum for the Rhetoric Stage appeared first on Notes From the Parsonage.

The logic stage is about fifth to eighth grade. These students are largely independent, though I do try to pick a subject each year to do with them just to connect with them a little more. While the curriculum is based around the medieval time period, it is NOT just for history!

Bible/Apologetics Curriculum for Middle Grades

For Bible, all my kids who can read use the SOAP method of Bible study to do their own personal Bible reading each day. They choose the book of the Bible they’re reading. They keep their notes in a notebook of their choice. This helps them learn to read, analyze, and apply the Bible for themselves without always counting on someone else to tell them what to see and what to think.

This year, Logic and Rhetoric stages are doing Apologetics for Bible class. They read these books on their own and at the end of each book, we sit and discuss. I encourage them to write down questions they may have as they go. We’ll discuss the questions that didn’t get answered in their reading as they finish each book. For logic, these books include:

Case for Christ for Kids

Case for Faith for Kids

Case for a Creator for Kids

Case for Grace for Kids

God’s Crime Scene for Kids

Cold-Case Christianity for Kids

It Couldn’t Just Happen

Medieval History Curriculum for Logic Stage Students

For history, my logic stage students also use The Story of the World, Volume 2. I do print all the coloring sheets and maps for them, as well, and include them in projects from the Activity Guide that I do with the grammar stage kids. We use this as a “spine”. We read it slowly through the year and work the rest of our supplemental readings into the timeline of the “spine” book.

They also have history supplements that they read by themselves to supplement their learning. I don’t have them answer questions or do worksheets for these books. I don’t find worksheets particularly useful for homeschooling. I find note taking guides or study guides to be better when they are necessary. But for most book, they keep notes as they read and at the end of each book, they’ll write a book summary. I also have them keep a master timeline, adding things from all the books they read to the timeline as they go.

Queen Eleanor

The Dragon and The Raven

Where is the Great Wall? 

Who Was Confucius?

Guts & Glory: The Vikings

Who Was Leif Erikson? 

The Story of Rolf and the Viking Bow

Who Was Ferdinand Magellan?

The Bard of Avon

The World of Columbus and Sons

Who Was Queen Elizabeth?

Who Was Genghis Khan?

Fine Print

Marco Polo: His Travels and Adventures

Medieval Literature for Logic Students

For literature, all reading is based on the medieval time period. Again, the students keep notes on what they are reading and write a book summary at the end of each book. If a book has a movie based on it, even loosely, I’ll make sure we watch that once they finish reading the book.

King Arthur and His Knights of the Round Table

Tales from Shakespeare

Jack

Red

A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court

Winning His Spurs

Grump

English Literature for Boys and Girls

Time Castaway: The Mona Lisa Key

The Adventures of Robin Hood

The White Company

Beowulf (This is a retelling! They’ll read the real one when we circle back through medieval history in four years.)

Viking Tales

The Door in the Wall

Adam of the Road

The Pied Piper of Hamelin

Grammar and Writing Curriculum

For grammar, my middle school students are using 180 Daily Lessons on their level. I usually rotate years with Easy Grammar one year and 180 Daily Lessons the next. These are quick grammar reminders each day, since they should be grammar proficient by this stage.

For writing, my logic stage kids are using The Creative Writer, Level 2. They used Level 1 last year and loved it. They begged to continue the series.

For handwriting, my logic stage students do copywork twice a week. They pick a paragraph from something they’ve read this week or can use their memory verse or poetry memory. They keep a handwriting notebook for this copywork. They are expected to write cleanly and neatly in this notebook. I don’t usually harass them about their handwriting anywhere but this notebook. I just need to know they CAN write well. I also let them choose if they want to print or use cursive.

Biology Curriculum for Logic Stage Students

For science, my logic stage kids are doing biology, as well. They’re reading independently, keeping notes as they read, and they’ll be doing some experiments from Janice VanCleave’s Biology for Every Kid.

Super Simple Biology

Cells Close Up

Barron’s Visual Learning Biology

GIANTmicrobes Cells Coloring Book

My First Book About Genetics

Basher Science: Microbiology

Basher Science: Biology: Life as We Know It!

The Biology Coloring Book

Exploring the World of Biology

Who Was George Washington Carver?

Who Was Jacques Cousteau?

Who Was Jane Goodall?

Who Was Rachel Carson?

Where are the Galapagos Islands?

Logic for Middle Grade Students

For logic, this stage is using The Fallacy Detective this year. This is one of my kids’ favorite logic books. I think they’d use it every year if I let them.

Foreign Languages Curriculum

For foreign languages, my logic stage students use Rosetta Stone 3-4 days a week to learn their language of choice. They can pick a new language at the beginning of the year, but must stick with it all year.

Math Curriculum

For math, my logic stage kids are using Life of Fred. They use Fractions, Decimals and Percents, and then the Pre-Algebra series.

Math is so specific to each kid. If what you have is working– keep using it! Don’t switch a kid’s math curriculum unless you really have to as the switch will set them back in the subject. If a math program is working– keep using it until it isn’t or they graduate!

Other Posts from Notes From the Parsonage You Might Enjoy

• Medieval History Curriculum for the Rhetoric Stage
• Medieval History Curriculum for the Grammar Stage
• Medieval History Morning Basket Plans
• Ancient History Curriculum for the Logic Stage

**This post contains affiliate links. Using affiliate links is a great way to support your favorite content creators.**

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And right on schedule, as I dove into lifespan development for the third time (I’ve had lifespan development classes before from other perspectives), I was ready to feel bad about the stress I am putting my family under right now. At first, I got that— the guilt. Infants rely on the steady care of a single caregiver and are upset when that is disrupted. Sorry Daisy. Preschoolers need adequate scaffolding to help them acquire new and deeper skills. Sorry Pippin, can’t scaffold for you, Mama’s got to write a paper about it instead. School aged children need security and patience with close monitoring as they learn new skills and begin to see themselves as others see them. Sorry Topher and Ransom, I don’t have time to monitor your mud pit fun, I’ve got papers to write. You get the idea. Everything is a slap in the face when you feel like you’re messing everything up— especially when you’re a mom of seven in school full time.

Then I came across the work of Donald Winnicott. He was an English pediatrician and psychoanalyst who voiced the idea of the “good enough” parent. I’m going to be grossly simplifying his work and pretty much just talking about a singular aspect. I’m imagining that if you were especially fond of psychoanalytic theory of infant development, you’d likely be taking the class I’m taking or reading a much longer book about the topic. (And just as a point of interest, the class ended up being extremely interesting and insightful. I feel like I only scratched the surface and would need another year to follow all the little rabbit trails my brain made.) For Winnicott, children didn’t need perfect parents. Children needed someone they could count on, but that someone didn’t have to be perfect all the time, they just had to be good enough. They just had to show up, love the kid, and do their best. Winnicott said that was the best kind of parent.

In today’s “perfect parenting” world, where parents feel judged every time they turn around, a world where parents spend so much time comparing their own parenting (and life) to what they see on Instagram, it is a breath of fresh air to read an expert tell us we only need to be “good enough”. The idea that everything bad that happens to our kid will be our fault is never flipped. If I’m responsible for all wrong roads my child may take, I’m also responsible for the right ones. And really, according to Winnicott, if I show up and do my best, my kids will turn out fine. Winnicott realized something our society won’t mention. Moms are people. They come with their own burdens, insecurities, and issues. Learning to be there for a child while still being a real person isn’t the easiest task for some people. And if you’re showing up, trying your best, and meeting the kid’s needs most of the time— you’re doing a good enough job of it. Not all of us can be Instagram perfect. We can’t have the perfect house with everything in various shades of white and grey. (How do you people keep white couches clean with kids?!) We can’t all be stay at home moms with endless budgets for all the kids enrichment activities and the “right” toys, clothes, and baby gear. We can’t all have all organic everything from the local farmer’s market. Life is messy. Life isn’t always ideal. The good news, according to Winnicott, is that we don’t need all those things. We need to pay attention most of the time. We need to provide security most of the time. We need need to learn to sacrifice, but it is okay for life to not be all sacrifice. We won’t get the mothering thing right every single time. The good enough mom knows this and can give herself some grace, learn from her mistakes, and move on. 

So if I have to delegate some schooling tasks to Dad for the next year, that is okay. If afternoon reading time has to be audible books, that is okay. If my cooking slips to eating PB&J a little too often, they will survive. If I’m not sewing them cute clothes and instead slipping them into hand-me-downs, I doubt they’ll notice. I’m here. I’m doing my best. The kids will be alright, I’m good enough. 

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